My brothers came up with some heinous nicknames for me in my youth, some of which have stuck for a lifetime. How would you like to be known as Gastank or Load? And people wonder why I have body image issues. Recently, I acquired a new, more playful moniker. While listening to author/oncologist, Azra Raza, she described patients who defy medical predictions as outliers or unicorns. I could definitely buy into being a unicorn rather than the elephant another pet name, Jumbo Joanie, always brought to mind.
My own oncologist confirmed my “unicorness” when he visited my room after surgery last week. He opened with, “Well, you’re just not behaving the way you should.” I laughed and explained that it wasn’t the first time I received that diagnosis. In fact, it’s the story of my life. He went on to explain that I have multiple different cancers combined into one tumor and that after all these years, most patients would be riddled with them by now. He may consider me a medical mystery, but I know who’s driving this bus.
Truthfully, we’re all unicorns in God’s eyes – unique in our own way because we are fearfully and wonderfully made. I can’t explain why I’m still here while so many diagnosed before and after me are not. In fact, I’m haunted by that responsibility, determined to live in a way that honors God’s decision. My biggest fear is that I would miss the purpose for which I was spared.
After my 2016 surgery, I was attending a healing service – not for cancer but for more insidious spiritual ailments that were causing more damage than any sarcoma. I approached the altar and simply requested prayer without providing any details. The pastor prayed for me and then told me he received a message for me. He elaborated, “I don’t know what this means, but He said to tell you that you haven’t missed it.”
I wish he could have been more specific because I’m still wondering what ‘it’ is. After much thought, however, I’m convinced that it’s nothing more complicated than making myself available to shine His light into a dark world. That belief was confirmed during my hospital stay last week in one of my morning devotions which read, “My light shines most brightly through believers who trust Me in the dark.”
My form of unicorness apparently involves donning a silly hat to coax a smile from people in a cancer ward, writing devotions to offer hope to the hopeless or inspiration for those carrying burdens of all kinds, or simply injecting a bit of humor into a jungle of unicorns struggling to find and embrace their purpose in life and in suffering – which is often one and the same. I’ve added some new head gear that will definitely initiate many interesting conversations and opportunities to share how God has carried me through this latest episode.
God has given each of us unique gifts. Yours probably won’t involve a hat fetish, because it will be unique to you. Too many people go through life thinking they haven’t been given any spiritual gifts. Believe me, if you’re alive, you’ve got a gift. I encourage you to choose to search for it, embrace it, and put it to use because His gifts are always meant to be shared with others.
Today, choose to be a unicorn.
Psalm 139:13-16
For you created my inmost being;
You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
*Borntoaunicorn.com is a website for everything unicorn.