by Joanie Butman
Oxford’s 2023 Word of the Year was announced this week. Rizz beat out some strong contenders, with situationship among the top nominees. Rizz is simply a shortened form of charisma. I researched the etymology of charisma and, to my surprise, learned it was considered a spiritual gift. It is derived from the Greek word charis (grace), and is first seen in the letters of St. Paul. He defines charisma as “the gift of God’s grace.” Looking at the word in that sense, we all have rizz since God’s grace if available to all believers. If that’s the case, and I believe it is, the runner up, situationship, becomes even more significant.
“Situationship merges ‘situation’ and ‘relationship’ to refer to ‘a romantic or sexual relationship that is not considered to be formal or established.’ It was considered because it ‘captures the uncertainty and lack of formalization that many people feel about their relationships.’” * I am well beyond having to (define the relationship) DTR with my husband, although I’ve discovered that even within a marriage defining the relationship is a fluid exercise over time and circumstances. The most successful marriages I’ve witnessed are ones that can continually adjust as needed; the ones that choose to honor the commitment – especially when it gets bumpy. There is no smooth ride when it comes to relationships.
Defining the relationship is even more vital in our spiritual walk because it is the footing on which every other relationship is based. Even so, far too many are in a spiritual situationship, failing to define or commit to a long-term relationship. Advent reflections focus on just that topic. How are we choosing to prepare and make room for the birth of Christ – not in a stable but in our hearts?
When you feel securely loved, every interaction you have with others will be more loving because it is rooted in that foundation. Your rizz is defined by Christ in you. It attracts people. Love is contagious – at least the kind that Christ lavishes on us. He establishes and formalizes His relationship with us through Scripture and His Holy Spirit. It’s our choice whether to accept His gift or not. Jesus is fully committed to us. He calls us His beloved. The question is whether or not we choose to formalize our commitment to Him. Advent is a perfect time to define the relationship. Will you remain in a spiritual situationship or choose to accept His gracious invitation to a life-long love affair?
Choose wisely.