by Joanie Butman
With Thanksgiving fast approaching, I’m relishing the fact that I no longer have to host an army of relatives or prepare that laborious and exhausting meal. During a dinner this week the woman next to me confided that she became a woman the year she fixed her first bird. More than any of the milestones that you would think mark womanhood, she insisted her first turkey was her transition point. I laughed because when I was an adolescent, my mother gave me a handbook called, On Becoming a Woman. I still have it so was able to double check. Nope, it doesn’t mention anything about cooking a turkey. Regardless, Thanksgiving dinner has to be one of the most challenging meals to serve. Getting and keeping everything hot at the same time is no easy feat. My strategy: plenty of good, hot gravy. Pour hot gravy over anything, and it will taste good.
Over the years there’s been much debate over the stuffing and how it’s prepared. There were many years when we prepared two different kinds to appease everyone. If you search for recipes, you will be inundated with possibilities. Most families have their own secret techniques for creating the perfect (or not so perfect) stuffing.
Coincidentally, I was talking with someone recently who described herself as a ‘stuffer.’ Instinctively, I knew exactly what she meant because who doesn’t ‘stuff’ unpleasant things beneath the surface as an avoidance technique? However, anyone with this proclivity can attest to the fact that too much of that kind of stuffing will give you more agita than overindulging on the Thanksgiving kind. It’s got to go somewhere. It’s similar to wearing Spanx. You can compress your belly fat, but it will pop up elsewhere. So, it’s just a choice of where you want it to surface – preferably someplace easily camouflaged like your knees under a long skirt. And if you stay in Spanx long enough, you feel like you’re slowly suffocating.
In much the same way, whatever issues we stuff inside can be just as smothering. Camouflaging them works for only so long. They will eventually accumulate, building resentments until there’s spontaneous combustion over a seemingly unrelated matter. Based on many holiday stories I’ve heard, it’s not an uncommon event at the Thanksgiving table because every family has their own recipe for dysfunction, and there’s always plenty of stuffing going on during family gatherings – probably has been for years.
The most important warning as to the danger of too much stuffing is that it prevents you from appreciating the many blessings of life. Think about it. If you eat too much stuffing, you’re too full to appreciate the rest of the meal. Even worse, you'll miss out on the best part - dessert! Similarly, gratitude is a difficult attitude to adopt if you are simmering over unresolved issues. A good therapist can help, but the most effective treatment I’ve discovered for a stuffing malady is Jesus. He can heal anything we choose to surrender and miraculously transform our rancid stuffing into an unexpectedly sweet dessert. He is the ultimate alchemist.
Keep in mind, it’s not enough to just get rid of unhealthy stuffing, you have to fill the void with something healthier so it doesn’t try to reestablish residency. For me that something is Christ. The same way hot gravy can make anything taste good, God’s grace can remedy any bitterness you might be harboring. Allowing Christ to pour His healing love and mercy over our hurts and hangups is always the wise choice.
So, what’s my Thanksgiving message? That the only stuffing you ever choose is the kind that goes into a turkey.
Happy Thanksgiving!