by Joanie Butman
More is my modus operandi. If one is good, three are even better. Always wanting more is generally not an attractive trait – except when it comes to spirituality. In fact, wanting more of Him is exactly the attitude God desires. He is eager to provide as many helpings as we’d like. The Lord hosts an unending, all-you-can-eat spiritual banquet. So, it’s no wonder that when invited to attend a We Want More* retreat, I enrolled immediately. Not only was I nourished spiritually, the excellent food provided was just as abundant and satiating as God’s presence – but definitely more caloric.
Many of you have probably read The New York Times** article describing an affliction that isn’t contagious but nearly as rampant as Covid. It’s called languishing. Based on the viral response to the article, it’s clear the author hit a nerve. He defines languishing as a “sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield.” I described it to a friend as a lack of joy and direction, and shared how I missed the skip in my step and the sparkle in my eye. I’d been praying for months for God to prescribe a cure for my own acute case of languishing. The retreat was the spiritual CPR I needed to resuscitate my passion for the Divine and compassion for others.
A few days before the retreat I was sent a photo of the retreat house’s prayer wall with the participants names on it. I chuckled thinking what a relief it was that my name was on a wall that wasn’t in a boy’s bathroom, in a hospital ward, or at the local transfer station where I’m certain they have a poster of me with a BOLO (Be On The Lookout) beneath it. Who knew there were so many rules in regard to trash disposal? Apparently, I’ve broken all of them. They keep a close eye on “the one with CT plates.” Thirty years and the locals still have a hard time warming up to me. New Englanders can be a tough crowd.
Based on my retreat experiences, I’d say suffering is the greatest human connector. It’s an honor when someone feels safe enough to invite you into their pain – not to cure it but to help carry it. It puts your own issues into perspective as your attention is torn from self to others. This particular retreat was with a group of women I did Bible study with during the fall/winter on Zoom. It was fun seeing the bottom half of the women whose faces I’d become so familiar with during the course of our study. As convenient as Zoom is, nothing compares with in-person fellowship. I believe this year’s study will be richer having gotten to know these women on a deeper level that can’t be accomplished through a screen. By the time the retreat ended, I felt I’d known them all my life despite having met many of them face-to-face this weekend for the first time.
At our farewell dinner, I was asked about my favorite take-aways. My fellow participants thought I was joking when I answered “the unending supply of sea salt caramels.” They also assumed I was kidding when I confessed to slipping more than a few pieces into my purse for later consumption – a literal ‘take way.’ Coincidentally, I ended up in the ER a day later with stomach issues. I was afraid the catscan would reveal a gooey glob of undigested caramels! Given the oddities the surgeon described removing from people, it would not be an unusual occurrence. Why she would share those gross stories with someone who just spent the past eight hours vomiting is beyond me.
The New York Times article proposed that “a concept called ‘flow’ may be an antidote to languishing. Flow is that elusive state of absorption in a meaningful challenge or a momentary bond, where your sense of time, place and self melts away.” That definition describes the retreat perfectly. I may have clogged my digestive track with caramels, but my spiritual flow was released through a much-needed heart massage, leaving my soul pumping with renewed spiritual vigor and a peaceful contentment I haven’t felt for a long while. As always, choosing to spend time with the Divine is the antidote to whatever ails you. God is the only defibrillator capable of restoring a healthy heart rhythm – a flow that will power through any blockage.
Finally, you don’t need to attend a retreat to enjoy a flow restoration treatment. God is eager to apply His divine defibrillator whenever and wherever we ask. Choose to be as bold as Oliver Twist when he walked up and humbly asked, “Please sir, may I have some more?” God never turns anyone away.
Choose wisely!
*https://www.wewantmore.org
***https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.html