by Joanie Butman
When my children were small, they didn’t like when I left home without them. Inevitably, when I told them my plans, their first reaction would be, “Me go too?” My negative response was always met with woe. As I left, I could often hear them calling tearfully, “Me go too! Me go too!” as the babysitter held them to the window to say goodbye. Though I’d assured them I’d be back, young children don’t grasp that concept. Gone was gone. This routine continued until they realized there were perks with my absence. Access to forbidden fruits such as TV time or treats reserved for special occasions. I can say with certainty they eventually looked forward to my departures with relish, planning their Don’t-Tell-Mom activities with glee.
Christians celebrated Ascension Thursday this week, which commemorates the day Christ ascended to Heaven after His miraculous resurrection. It occurs 40 days after Easter. His apostles witnessed His departure after Jesus gave them the commission to go and make disciples of all nations. If I were present, I imagine I would be doing the same as my children, shouting to Jesus through tears, “Wait. Me go too! Me go too! Don’t leave me here!” I’m sure anyone who has lost a loved one has had similar thoughts.
Even though I haven’t lost anyone, there are days the lure of Heaven seems appealing. Is there anyone who hasn’t experienced pain so deep that they long for the peace of Paradise? To simply sit with Christ as the apostles must have, soaking up His essence, letting His lavish love wash over me. The apostles must have been devastated as they watched their friend and teacher leave even though He too promised to return.
Blessedly, we don’t have to die to experience the peace and comfort of Christ’s presence. The eternal life God promises to believers doesn’t begin when we die, it begins here and now. Jesus promises “to be with us always, to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). His promises of peace are for this life not the next. We won’t need to grasp onto those promises in Heaven, but we certainly need to cling to them in the pain and chaos of living in a broken world. I can say from experience His promises have gotten me through seemingly unsurmountable challenges.
That said, it’s often not pretty. I’ve wrestled with God on many occasions grappling with Him like Jacob, refusing to let go until He blesses me. Those are the times I’ve felt closest to Jesus despite my pain because you’ve got to get up close and personal to wrestle with someone. The thing is He’s got a lot more stamina than me. I eventually surrender, which is what I probably should have done in the first place.
Other times my prayers take on a whining quality using an often-heard lament from my own children, “You promised!” And they were right to remind me of that oath. So, I choose to do the same. I pray God’s promises back to Him – not because He needs reminding, but I do.
Finally, like my children, I’ve had my share of don’t-tell moments, as if I could hide anything from Jesus. The same way I always knew what those rascals were up to while I was gone, so does He. You can’t hide from God. That may sound daunting, but that truth is the basis of my peace. Choose to trust that God knows everything about you (the good, the bad, the ugly) and loves you completely. There is nothing you can do to make Him love you any more or any less. Let that unconditional love saturate your entire being, filling you with a peace only He can provide.