by Joanie Butman
I just finished reading Ann Napolitano’s, Hello Beautiful. It’s a family saga with all the drama that entails. It’s also the story of how a father’s love impacts the lives of his four daughters. It was particularly poignant because that’s how my father greeted me whenever I entered the room. He used to question, “how did I get so lucky to have such beautiful daughters?” There were four of us, and I can’t say we were above average in the looks department, but we were gorgeous in his eyes. And when I was in his company, I did feel beautiful because I could see myself through the light of his love. Sadly, my dad passed away in January after suffering from dementia, so I haven’t heard that salutation in a few years. Yet, long after he lost his ability to communicate his affection, his eyes still lit up when any of us arrived.
Did his high opinion of me help me resist feelings of insecurity over the years? No, but whenever I felt burdened by feelings of being less-than, I knew I could visit him for a shot of pure adulation. It never changed whatever situation I was facing, but it did allow me a respite of being unconditionally adored – balm for the soul for sure.
In Napolitano’s book, the father’s insight into his daughters’ unique qualities serves to inspire them to follow their dreams. I can’t say my father’s aspirations for me were lofty by any means. His life-long lament was that I didn’t marry the Italian immigrant (who spoke no English when the date was arranged) he chose for me. Pietro now has two successful restaurants in Greenwich Village and has learned English. My father’s main selling point was that I would never have to cook! The husband I chose isn’t Italian or a chef, but he makes a mean Manhattan, which won over my dad.
Not everyone is blessed with a father who dotes on them. My brothers and sisters know how fortunate we were. Regardless of what kind of father you’ve had (or haven’t had), God is eager to offer His children an extravagant, unconditional love. His door is always open. You need to choose to accept His offer to become part of His family though. He’s too much of a gentleman to go where He’s not invited.
Finally, the best part of accepting His gracious invitation is we can never lose it. As St. Paul asserts in Romans 8:38-39: “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Even those of us who have been blessed with loving earthly fathers lose them eventually.
God wants us to view ourselves through His eyes of love. So, if you are tempted by anxious thoughts (and who isn’t) or hounded by feelings of not being good enough, a visit with Him is a spiritual retreat from this crazy world where you can bask in the restoring power of His love, peace and promises. Why not choose to let His love inspire, strengthen and reveal His vision for you?
Choose wisely.