Ice, Dam!

by Joanie Butman

Who in the Northeast isn’t ready for winter to be over? Enough already. My husband and I awoke last week to a rainstorm over my computer. He then spent six hours removing the most recent snowfall from our roofs while I mopped up the mess inside. There were years when he had me dangling out windows tethered to a hose that I swear no one was holding on the other end. I handed in my resignation shortly thereafter. I am now the inside man of the building maintenance department of Bob & Co. – my nickname for my husband and myself.

This year we thought we’d outsmart the weather by installing roof heaters in the problematic spots. That strategy might have actually succeeded if the contractor had finished the installation in time, but as these things usually go, he missed his window of opportunity and was waylaid by ongoing snowfall and frigid temperatures. When he finally finished, we breathed a sigh of relief as we saw the forecast for yet another snowstorm. Our comfort was short lived when we realized the heaters weren’t functioning. 

We’ve had our share of ice dams over the years and every time we think we’ve conquered them, they pop up elsewhere just like that Whack-a-Mole arcade game. It occurred to me this week that ice dams are eerily similar to sin in lots of ways. It doesn’t just affect you, it tends to spill over everything in your life causing varying degrees of damage – some fixable, others less so.

The secret to handling both is prevention and/or early intervention. It takes constant diligence to prevent them from forming in the first place. As hard as we try though, we will only get so far on our own because everyone has those problem areas that given the right circumstances produce both ice dams and sin. Snow removal and heat wires will work on your roof issues, but the spiritual equivalent would be fellowship and Bible study. Even so, all have to be activated and in working order to be effective on your roof or your heart.

My brother emailed me a series of photos illustrating his unique solution to ice dams – a blowtorch. They came with the following captions:

The Problem Ice Dams

The Solution Flame Thrower

Accident Waiting to Happen

Phew! Escaped Serious Injury!

He should have included this caveat, “DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!” You might be wondering why anyone would own a blowtorch. Well, interestingly, it is to smooth out the surface of the ice skating pond in his yard, a portable Zamboni of sorts.

I bring up ice dams for two reasons. First, many can relate this winter; but even if you are fortunate enough to avoid the roof kind, there isn’t anyone who can’t relate to the spiritual kind. In addition, they are a useful metaphor in attempting to clarify the purpose of Lent, which many of my friends not raised Catholic find confusing and contrary to the concept of grace. In my mind, it‘s a thawing out season. Lenten practices aren’t observed to impress God with our sacrifices and good works or to earn His love and approval. It’s a time to reflect on anything that might be affecting our relationship with God. Prayers, fasting and good works are simply methods to achieve clarity in that regard.

During these six weeks, many people choose to invite Jesus into their hearts to reveal where their souls need melting and what bumps and cracks need to be smoothed out by the warmth of His love – a spiritual Zamboni. Ideally, it’s an exercise that shouldn’t be seasonal. Sadly though, if you’re like me, you don’t tend to concentrate on ice dams during warm weather, which is when I should have had the roof heating cables installed. Nor do I spend a lot of time focusing on spiritual ice dams when all is going well.

Despite the effectiveness of my brother’s approach, I don’t plan on buying a blowtorch any time soon because I wouldn’t trust it in the hands of anyone in the building maintenance department of Bob & Co. However, when I choose to put myself in God’s loving hands, I trust that Christ will turn up just the right amount of heat to smooth out my bumps and cracks and break through any sin that has built up preventing me from living the abundant life He has planned for me.

P.S. Speaking of thawing out, I will be in Florida for the next two weeks with my family gathering lots of material for when I return at the end of the month - my own version of March Madness.

And the Award Goes To...

by Joanie Butman

Prior to last week’s Academy Awards, my friend sent me the following message. I changed her name for obvious reasons.

I have now seen all of the movies nominated for Oscars. I am still awaiting contact from the Academy for my votes. A few categories that may not be televised Sunday night:

Most Popcorn Eaten: Yours Truly

Most Coke Zero Drank: Yours Truly

Most Good & Plenty Consumed: Yours Truly

Most Jr. Mints Melted on Bottom of Purse: Yours Truly

Most Stomach Aches Following Movies: Yours Truly

Most Rum Added to Coke Zero: Guess Who!

Can’t decide which designer I will be wearing for the show but after all of those movies, they may have to wrap me in the red carpet!

I laughed out loud!! Seriously, who doesn’t love the Oscars? Even though the Academy failed to honor Joan Rivers’ absence, she was always my favorite part. Her show, Fashion Police, gave us a license to be catty, and she was the master. Her critiques were priceless, though often brutal. She spared no one.

Hebrews 11 is the equivalent of a Biblical Academy Award List of winners and nominees. \

However, you will not find the cream of the crop amongst this motley crew, and Joan Rivers would have had a field day with them. They weren’t the most beautiful, talented, polished, educated, connected or best dressed. In fact, quite the opposite. Therein lies the example and hope for all of us.

These Christian superstars were just ordinary people who gave Oscar-winning performances in the roles in which they were cast. Some were larger than life, like Moses the stutterer, while many held supporting roles or bit parts, like many Jesus healed. Theirs weren’t flawless performances either, but ones riddled with bloopers. The one commonality they shared had nothing to do with their outward appearance or outstanding execution, but with their availability and willingness to follow their Director’s instruction.

In reality, few of us will ever be called to walk the red carpet in LA, and the Academy isn’t interested in our vote. Nevertheless, each of us will eventually take that last walk home clothed in the righteousness of Christ (if we so choose), where no Spanx or Botox are necessary. He smoothes out any bulges, wrinkles or imperfections. Gratefully, it won’t be Joan Rivers critiquing us but Jesus whose mercy never fails.

My friend’s email closely mirrors my own evaluation of a much longer list of self-indulgences. Though humorous, it caused me to pause and seriously consider my performance as a Christian. It wasn’t a pretty picture.

Sounds discouraging until I think back on Hebrews 11 and remember that the majority of those people would never have been nominated as the ‘Best’ anything – at least not initially. However, they all qualify in the 'Best Ambassador for Christ' category despite their long list of character defects. Thousands of years later we are still reading about them, and it’s not about their outfits.

We can all choose to be Ambassadors for Christ regardless of our abilities or lackluster performances in the past. One of the many things I love about Jesus is that He has the ability to make everyone feel like His favorite. You can always count on His vote. In His eyes we are all winners in the 'Best Loved' category. Even so, we still have to choose to accept it and claim our award, which is His grace and salvation. When you choose to wrap your heart around that truth, you can't help but bubble over with a joy that lasts longer than any Oscar win. Your prayers of gratitude and praise become your lifelong acceptance speech.

Dust to Dust

by Joanie Butman

This Wednesday ushered in another Lenten season. I have an abysmal track record adhering to any fasting discipline. I promised myself this year would be different. It was. I lasted three days rather than two, and I spent two of those three days recovering from my Fat Tuesday celebration. Regardless, perfection is not the intention during Lent or life. If we were capable of that, we wouldn’t need a Savior, would we?

When it comes to Lent, I can’t help but think about when I was young and my mother would have us clean up before the cleaning person came. It seemed counterintuitive to me if not utterly ridiculous. Eventually, as a mother myself, I understood her logic and would have my children do the same. It is impossible to clean with clutter in the way. You may think it a stretch, but I view Lent as a similar exercise. The clutter is just spiritual in nature. Lent is a lot like spring cleaning, where we declutter our hearts and minds to make room for Christ to come in and do a thorough and deep cleaning.

As I mentioned recently, our house is on the market and I spent the better part of this winter pruning and polishing. It’s amazing how much dust and junk you can accumulate in 18 years – physically and spiritually. In addition to decluttering, my realtor instructed me to make sure the windows are clean. My house is now in order and presentable, which comes at the perfect time so I can use Lent to do the same with my soul.

The BIG difference is that I’m not trying to make myself presentable to God. On the contrary, I am presenting Him with the very things I need help cleaning. Prayer, fasting, and almsgiving are methods to achieve clarity in recognizing those areas that need work. For me Lent is all about putting my relationship with Christ in order.

A timely devotional I read this week drew the analogy that “dust is the sin that can build up on the windows of our hearts, keeping us in shadows and darkness.” That comment reminded me of a sermon my father once shared with me. 

The priest started with the statement that he thanked God because He does windows. He then described us all as windows. Why did God make us that way? Because he made us in His image and likeness, and He wanted everyone we come in contact with to be able to see Him through our windows. But like all windows, when subjected to the elements, they become dirty and difficult to see through. This is where God, with the wonderful rags of grace, cleans these windows so they may reflect His image once again. Not once, twice, not even a thousand times during the course of a lifetime. His love and mercy is forever, or as long as we ask for it.

Cleaning windows is no easy task, and they don’t even stay clean very long. It takes some preparation as well. You have to clear everything away before you can even start. Sounds a little like Lent, don't you agree? I really appreciate Raphael and his crew that come and do my windows a couple of times a year, but I am in awe of the One who comes on a daily basis to Windex my heart so His light can shine unobstructed for all to see. And so I can see beyond myself. Clean windows work both ways, seeing in and out.

Window cleaning is also an expensive endeavor, which is why I only have them done twice a year. However, Christ has already paid in full for our eternal window service! Why not choose to take advantage of it? When we choose to nurture our relationship with Christ, we can’t help but reflect His essence to others.

So, am I beating myself up for my poor showing again this year? No. As I never get it perfect the rest of the year, why would I expect these six weeks to be any different? It took me a long time to build up the muck clouding my windows. It’s going to take more than 40 days to clean up that mess. I’ll leave you with something reassuring I like to keep in mind, “every minute of every hour of every day is another chance to make a new choice.” I believe Christ is more concerned with our progress and perseverance than perfection. Choosing to let perfection get in the way of progress is never a wise choice.

Beaten But Not Defeated

by Joanie Butman

How would you like your legacy to be making the worst play call in Super Bowl history? Unless you live under a rock, you know what I’m talking about. Sports analysts and Monday morning quarterbacks have been rehashing the last 30 seconds of Super Bowl XLIX ad nauseum. As a Russell Wilson fan, I am still reeling. When I called to check on my little buddy, Sam, his mom informed me he is now in the fifth phase of mourning – acceptance. So, what’s left to discuss, you may be asking? More than football, that’s for sure.

Well, let’s start by saying thank goodness no one is privy to the playbook of my life, because it is full of incredibly stupid choices and a multitude of strategic miscalculations, including my variety of hairdos! In fact, if I ever write an autobiography I plan to entitle it, What Was I Thinking?  Something I did very little of over the course of my youth, or if I did, it was with a logic no one else could follow, much like Pete Carroll’s call with victory just inches away.

At least I didn’t have an audience of millions watching. The friends and family that witnessed my frequent acts of stupidity were more than enough. I’m so glad I grew up without social media, where every bad decision is made public in a nanosecond coupled with the added opportunity for anyone and everyone to weigh in on said decision. For better or worse, our generation had the luxury of plausible deniability. With the evolution of Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and who knows how many other venues, there is nowhere to hide and no denying what’s there for all to see.

In much the same way we’ve over analyzed and dissected Carroll’s decision, don’t we do the same with God when He calls a play we disagree with – when it seems our prayers go unanswered, when the victory doesn’t come, when the job goes to someone else, when the relationship isn’t restored, when the healing doesn’t arrive? It’s easy to be faithful when we are recipients of God’s blessings. It’s when we feel defeated and alone that it is hardest to trust that His ways are not our ways, and that sometimes His blessings come through suffering.

Nevertheless, some of our greatest opportunities to witness for Christ come through pain and loss. I think Russell Wilson’s voice was louder in defeat than it ever could have been in victory. Have you ever seen an unhappy winner? How you handle your defeats is more of a testimony to your character and beliefs. Let’s face it, most of us don’t need to learn how to win and probably have more experience losing. Life is not a zero sum game. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t felt the despair of losing someone or something – a dream, a job, a home, or in this case a game – when the support of others is critical. Isn’t that the role of the Seahawks 12th man?

Given my previous comment regarding the myriad questionable calls over my life, I derive great comfort from Wilson’s statement, “I won’t let one play or one moment define my career. I will keep evolving.” And so should we.  God isn’t a Monday morning quarterback. He already knows our playbook, which is why He sent his Son – to save us from our own sinfulness and stupidity. Fortunately, He’s not counting downs and is always waiting and willing to give us a replay – another chance to get it right. As Wilson tweeted after the game, “Thank you God for the opportunity. We’ll be back…I will never waiver on who He has called me to be…Thanks 12s” We are a constant work in progress. When we stop evolving, we stop living in the truest sense. As another football great once said, “The measure of a man is not in how he falls down, but in how he pulls himself off the ground.” (Vince Lombardi)

Does this mean we don’t suffer the consequences of our choices? Absolutely not, or we wouldn’t learn anything. Pain is a most effective teacher. It makes us stronger and wiser. God then provides the opportunity to take those lessons and apply them in the future – to come back stronger and better having gotten to the other side of our pain. To use what we’ve learned in the process to encourage and support others. Wilson’s Monday morning tweet says it all, “Every setback has a major comeback. #GreaterIsComing." Amen to that!!

God-your-head-coach

I have the utmost respect for the way Wilson accepted the fatal call without question, trusting his coaches and his instincts. I think we can learn something from his example because who doesn’t question the plays God calls at times? A cancer diagnosis? A rejection? A crushing blow emotionally, spiritually, financially? Really, God, that’s Your best call? It’s at those times we have to trust our divine coach and run the play to the best of our ability, relying on our teammates to help us. It won’t always lead to a victory as the world sees it, but it makes us all winners in the end because we know that His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts higher than our thoughts.

Finally, when discussing his team’s goal, Wilson could have been describing the Christian life in general, “Our goal is to prepare the right way. Our goal is to keep our mind right, stay strong mentally and just keep fighting.” He continues, “Keep focusing on persevering. Keep focusing on guys you have around you, and keep focusing on caring about those guys and working, and just continuing to fight.” Sounds awfully close to some of St. Paul’s pep talks where he continually encourages Christians to “be prepared in season and out of season.” And Hebrews 12 encourages us to “run with perseverance the race marked out for us,fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.”

More than any one play or moment, it is who or what you choose to focus on that defines you. Russell Wilson is very clear of who He puts first. Are you?

Choose wisely.

*With the birth of an NFL franchise in 1976, Seattle fans were no longer starved for their own professional football team. As the Seahawks strengthened, their loud, sold out crowds became known as the 12th MAN.  ( http://www.seahawks.com/12th-Man)

Breaking Bad

by Joanie Butman

My husband and I spent last weekend in Richmond attending a debutante-like event for our daughter. A 100-year tradition, Ring Dance, “is a one-night celebration to commemorate the academic accomplishments of Westhampton College junior women.” Since its inception, dads come from all over to escort their daughters down the palatial staircase of the landmark Jefferson Hotel. This year the powers that be decided this format excluded girls without fathers or without the means to have their fathers attend, so the men were eliminated from the procession. It may sound overly dramatic, but many girls and their parents were upset over that decision. It’s the equivalent of making it to the Superbowl but not being allowed to play. Let’s be honest, dads don’t get many ‘moments’ where they are highlighted. Too often they sit quietly in the background watching the drama unfold – at least that’s the way it’s always played out in our family.

This was one of those politically correct moves where the adage be careful not to throw the baby out with the bathwater would apply. The financial component could easily be remedied by establishing a scholarship program for those needing assistance. In regard to the first issue, there isn’t a junior who got where she is without the love and support of someone – a mom, grandparent, sibling, mentor, coach, teacher. No one ‘arrives’ at that level of academia without the assistance of someone.

Ring Dance is more than acknowledging the girls’ accomplishments. It’s an opportunity to honor the person, or persons, who helped them achieve them regardless of age or gender. Another important aspect to keep in mind is that it isn’t compulsory to walk down the stairs. Plenty of girls with parents in attendance chose not to participate in that element of the evening. Others simply missed their cue. It should be the young woman’s choice whether or not to walk, and with whom.

Not to be denied, my daughter and her friends chose to plan an informal coup to have their fathers by their side as in the past. They had their reasons – not the least of which was fear of stumbling off their lofty heels or tripping on their gowns. Alphabetically, the Butmans would be the first of their group to attempt it. Not an easy feat as security was stricter than a White House function (at least recently).

You have to understand, my husband comes from a military family. He follows the rules. As a RA in college, he enforced the rules. He avoids conflict at all costs and totally missed the bad boy gene. I watched from the foot of the stairs doubting he’d actually go through with it. Much to my surprise, when they announced Hannah he surreptitiously slipped through security to take her arm as the crowd of 500+ roared in approval. It was his shining moment. I was so proud. Other dads took his cue and did the same. At one point they stopped the procession in an effort to regain control. The crowd boomed their support for the dads by chanting in unison, “Let them walk! Let them walk!”

So what’s my point? A trivial example for sure, but it begs the deeper question, “Who or what do you choose to stick up for when it isn’t easy and/or can be costly? We’re all stirred to action by something. Taking it one step further, consider the flipside, “Who’s advocated for you and at what cost?” Some may have more than one answer, but we all share the legacy of Christ who stood up for us and paid dearly for our salvation.

As I mentioned earlier, no one gets through life on their own accord. The most important escort you will ever have, chose to break every convention and social more of the time to walk beside those that needed His support most – the sinful, unloved and unwanted. The ones that understood all too well just how unworthy they were. Society reminded them daily.

Even so, it is our choice whether or not to reach out and take hold of Christ. But when we do, He promises to “be with us always and watch over us wherever we go.” You don’t have to fear falling when it feels like you’re trying to navigate a steep incline on five-inch heels. He’ll be there to help steady you and lift you up when you stumble.

If Bob holds true to form, I’m sure the story will take on a life of its own, with him leaping over barriers or outsmarting a sea of armed guards to reach his daughter. He will become an urban legend in Ring Dance history, or at least within our own family. Christ’s story, on the other hand, never changes nor does He. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. Who can resist choosing such an escort – one that allows us to walk by faith not by sight – confident of His unconditional and unending love and support?

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