God Gives God

by Joanie Butman

My yoga instructor (and friend) stretches my soul along with my body in our sessions. She begins each class with food for thought to savor while working out. These morsels are meant to strengthen and tone our hearts, while the yoga tends to our muscles. She shared the following story earlier this month as one of her preludes. While going through the poses, it occurred to me that it reflects the meaning of Christmas beautifully so I thought it a timely message to pass along to you.

The Wise Woman’s Stone

(Author Unknown)

A wise woman who was traveling in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation. The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime.

But a few days later he came back to return the stone to the wise woman. “I’ve been thinking,” he said, “I know how valuable the stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone.” Sometimes it's not the wealth we have, but what's inside us that others need.

We were all given the precious gem of God’s love that first Christmas, giving us security not just for a lifetime but for eternity! My father once told me that the truest thing he could say about love was that it was a response to being loved. Think about it. You can’t give away that which you don’t have, which is exactly why God gave us the miracle we celebrate on Christmas. By giving us the gift of Himself personified in the birth of His own son, God incarnate, we are offered access to His incomparable, unending and extravagant love so that we, in turn, can share that love with others.

How do we choose to do this? By living in a way that attracts others to learn more about the treasure we hold in our heart. There is no question that when we allow God’s love to reside there, it will shine brightly through us, bringing His light into a darkened world. That’s the gift, the promise and the hope of Christmas. We are meant to regift God’s presents (presence) in us, wrapping them in service to others as gifts of peace, love, joy, mercy, kindness, compassion, forgiveness, time, talents, wisdom and encouragement, just to name a few.

Following the birth of Jesus, Luke tells us, “Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart” (Luke 2:19). I think this week is a perfect time to do the same as we go through the rigorous routines of the holidays – the shopping, the parties, the presents, the cards and the relatives! The Feast of the Epiphany is quickly approaching, which marks the culmination of the Wise Men’s journey to find the Messiah and the presentation of their gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. It might be a good time to reflect on your own journey and what gifts you choose to present to Him. What is your treasure and how do you choose to share it with others? 

“For where your treasure is,

there your heart will be also.” (Luke 12:34)

My New Year’s resolution is the same as every year: to choose to begin each day rejoicing in the good fortune and security that I’ve been given in Christ. And like the wise woman, may I never hesitate to share Him generously with any hungry traveler I meet.

Happy New Year!

Are You Ready?

by Joanie Butman

Does anyone else fall victim to the Christmas crazies? Usually, I’m pretty laid back about Christmas. I don’t have many gifts to buy, and we are certainly not overwhelmed with social engagements. In fact, I wish someone would invite me somewhere so I can unload the closetful of hostess gifts I’ve purchased over the years for invites that never arrived.

So why is this year an exception to my normally tranquil holiday mood? Well, I am in the trifecta of crazy:

1. In a moment of temporary insanity I agreed to host our annual extended family pilgrimage to the Poconos at our home for three days. Talk about no room at the inn.
2. My son is anxiously awaiting responses to his college applications.
3. I started a trial at Sloane Kettering for an experimental drug therapy.

Oh yeah – AND IT’S A WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS!!! I am in the vortex of the perfect storm. I was sitting at lunch with my daughter this week and overheard (my daughter calls it eavesdropping but whatever) the woman at the next table telling her friend, “I can’t control crazy.” Shaking her head, she repeated it again and again like a yoga mantra. No kidding, I thought. In fact, there is very little I can control except my own attitude.

My questionable choice to hold the annual festivities at our house is definitely going into the anthology I'm writing entitled What Was I Thinking? I’ll tell you what I was thinking: If the only other option was not seeing everyone, I was willing to throw myself under the bus. It sounded noble in July, but just plain stupid in December. Not only that, my husband and children don’t necessarily share my martyr-like tendencies nor were they willing to be dragged under with me. They’ve been down that road before, and it’s not pretty. They gently reminded me that they tried to stop me to no avail. Nevertheless, my husband is a saint. How he manages to accommodate everyone and never lose his positive attitude is admirable and enviable. Secretly, I think he’s happy that he'll have an audience for his Christmas light extravaganza. He fell asleep last night dreaming up clues for the Yule Log hunt. God bless him.

Adding to my angst is the common question I get from everyone I meet, “Are you ready for Christmas?” You’d think we’ve all been training for a marathon – which the Christmas season is slowly becoming now that it starts just after Halloween. Am I prepared? Does it really matter? Ready or not, it’s comin’ next week. I was in desperate need of a mood adjustment. This was getting ridiculous.

Christmas isn’t supposed to be stressful. It’s supposed to be about peace and goodwill towards men. Ha! I haven’t been showing much of that this week. Just yesterday I had to return to a store to apologize for being so impatient with a salesgirl the day before, and I will never go back to the NIKE store in Westport after an incident involving a defective fuel band. I think they must have a warning poster with my face on it in the employee lounge.

Didn’t Jesus say, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28)? I can’t think of anyone who isn’t weary and burdened by the time December 25th rolls around, so in that sense – YES, I’M READY FOR CHRISTMAS!!!

Here’s the mantra I’ve chosen to focus on: “His presence prevents panic, His presence prevents panic, His presence prevents panic.” Christmas is all about God giving us the present of Himself embodied in Christ. I choose to let His present/presence saturate my entire being with peace so that Christmas will be joyous as it is meant to be. It’s the best gift I can give to my family.

Apparently I am not alone in this frazzled condition, or else my devotions wouldn’t be speaking about this exact malady to which many women succumb this time of year. The day after I wrote this essay my Jesus Calling ended with this confirmation of the newfound mantra I chose to  adopt earlier in the week on my way into Sloane Kettering:

“Let My presence bring order to your thoughts, infusing peace into your entire being. “ (Jesus Calling)

Amen!

P.S. By the way, this is as close as I'm going to get to a Christmas card this year as my family vetoed every photo I suggested. Have a wonderful, blessed, peace-filled Christmas!

Hope of Heaven

by Joanie Butman

During a recent yoga class, our yogini was introducing a challenging pose. After a number of clumsy efforts by the class, she had us lean against the wall to experience how the pose should feel. Her ultimate goal was to have us achieve the same pose without the support of the wall. When you feel the safety of the wall, you can lean into it knowing you can’t fall. This allows you to stretch much further than if you were trying to balance with no one to catch you. I immediately thought to myself – isn’t that just like faith? When you have Christ, and ideally the fellowship of other believers on whom you rely for support, your faith can be stretched to unprecedented levels. Christianity is not meant to be a solo endeavor. We are all in the same class often struggling with difficult positions.

Never is this truer than in tragedy and suffering. Tragedies don’t isolate us; they bring us together, which is right where we need to be when experiencing the dark night of the soul. I see it again and again as people rally around those suffering, to be the wall into which they can safely lean for support. This comes to mind because we lost a member of our community last week in a deadly car accident – a young woman finishing her last year of college. My heart breaks for her family, and I feel guilty preparing for Christmas while they are preparing for her funeral. However, I read something the other day that made me reevaluate. It was the suggestion that the best way to honor what they lost is toappreciate and enjoy what we have.

I’ve heard a number of people comment how the timing of her death must intensify the loss. I’m not sure I believe this because gone is gone. Would the loss be any less painful had it happened two months from now – absolutely not. Sadly, suffering and tragedy don’t take holidays. Just last year at this time the world mourned the horror of Newtown where so many young lives were lost along with the innocence of so many others.

I got to thinking if there were such a thing as a Grinch (which I believe there is but he goes by another name), what better way to attempt to derail Christmas than to suffuse it with inconceivable pain and sorrow? But just like Dr. Seuss’ character learned,

He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME!

Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling:

How could it be so?

It came without ribbons! It came without tags!

It came without packages, boxes, or bags!

And he puzzled and puzzled, till his puzzler was sore.

Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!

"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.

Maybe Christmas… perhaps… means a little bit more."

The gift of Christmas is the hope of heaven given to us through the birth of Christ. It is into this hope that we can lean for support and comfort knowing it is the only thing preventing us from falling into a pit of despair. During times of intense pain, I can’t think of anything I need more than to be reminded that eventually, “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”  (Rev 21:4) This is the promise of Christmas.

There are no words of comfort that will ease this family’s grief. The only thing our community can offer is to choose to stand with them and bear witness to their pain as many will do at the memorial this week. In the darkness of their unimaginable sorrow, we can choose to pray that the hope of heaven and the light of Christmas will eventually carry them through this tragedy to the other side of their pain.

I will leave you with this verse:

“For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made his light shine in our heartsto give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.” (2 Corinthians 4:6)

This is the true meaning of Christmas and something we need to celebrate, especially when faced with such unbearable heartache. There is no shortage of suffering in this world. I don’t know anyone who couldn’t benefit from an infusion of the light of Christmas for healing of all kinds.

In memory of Kelsey H. Durkin

1/1/1992 - 12/3/2013

Prepare to be Amazed!

by Joanie Butman

Sitting in the audience during a recent trip to Manhattan, I read with interest a note from the director about the magic show I was about to see called Nothing to Hide. He wrote:

There seem to be two types of ways to watch live magic performances: Either you try to figure out the method and must know how it is done, or you simply enjoy it for what it’s worth and give in to the mystery of it all. I am in the unfortunate position of having to engage in the former. As President of the Academy of Magical Arts, I have to look at magic from a more fiduciary/directory perspective. I’m concerned with the nuts and bolts of the magic: what each effect consists of, what additional parts are required, what sound and lights are best, and how much will they all cost. Necessary? Indeed. Thrilling? Not so much. I yearn for those days when I could simply watch as a spectator and marvel.

And so I ask of you tonight: Choose the latter. Sit back and enjoy yourself. Because I can almost guarantee you will find it impossible to figure out their methods. I say this not as a challenge, but as a fact. After having watched this very show 50, 60 times, I still just recently had to ask how certain parts were accomplished – they’re that good. You are in the hands of two masters at the top of their game.

Please set your cell phone to Silent, and your mind to Blown.                                                                                                                                                         -n

My kids claim I see God in everything, which I can’t deny, so why not in a Broadway Playbill? There is no limit to the where and how He communicates with me. This was a Godwink moment because my first thought was that Neil Patrick Harris could have been describing the life of a Christian. Albert Einstein’s quote says almost the same thing regarding faith: “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” My guess is he’d probably suggest choosing the latter as well.

Harris’ comment also aptly describes students of the Bible. I’ve been studying scripture for many years with a wide variety of people – men and women of all ages - and I noticed exactly the same thing as Neal Patrick Harris. The people in my various groups usually fall into two categories: the ones who seek an explanation for everything and the ones who are comfortable with the mysteries of it all. The same can be said about life. We will never understand the how, where and why of God’s plan. We can only relax in the confidence that He is directing the show.

There is a parenting guru whose name I can’t recall that suggests if your kids don’t like your answer, they’re going to like your reasons even less. His point being we don’t owe them an explanation, which will just prolong the argument. Well, the same logic holds true for God. He doesn’t owe us an explanation. He’s got nothing to hide, but even if we knew all the answers, we still wouldn’t understand or agree because His ways are not our ways. Plus, it would spoil the adventure the same way knowing the mechanics of the magic spoils the show. Personally, I choose to believe that I am in the hands of the Holy Trinity who are without a doubt masters at the top of their game yesterday, today and forever.

I’m with Harris as he suggests to the audience: Choose to embrace the mystery—but I mean it in a divine sense as so many spiritual giants have done before me. Corrie ten Boom is a perfect example. Despite her desperate situation as a prisoner at Ravensbruck Concentration Camp where many must have felt forgotten or even forsaken by God, she claimed, “There is no pit so deep that God’s love is not deeper still.” Her unwavering belief that “faith sees the invisible, believes the unbelievable, and receives the impossible” was her saving grace.

Lastly, Harris’ closing line is the best way to describe my daily quiet time with the Lord because it is in stillness and quiet when I have my best conversations – even if it is in a dark theatre. Maybe not every day but more often than not, as I quiet my mind and open my heart to His presence, I am blown away by His interest and participation in the smallest details of my life. I marvel at His miraculous ability to use the worst situations for good – turning ashes to stardust. I choose to start each day in stillness with this thought in mind, “prepare to be amazed.” I am never disappointed.

By the way, the show was awesome!

The Gift of Tears

by Joanie Butman

At a recent luncheon with the Bible Babes someone posed the compulsory question at this time of year, “What are you thankful for?” I slumped in my chair thinking we were going to hear the predictable answers. Not to diminish their worth, but we all tend to be thankful for the same things – family, friends, health, etc. To my surprise and delight, the first responder answered in an unexpected way. She said she wanted to change it up and talk about something bad for which she was grateful. Immediately, I snapped to attention. This was going to be more interesting than I thought.

Appreciating the suffering in our lives is not a conversation in which many people want to engage and probably not uplifting enough for the Thanksgiving table. Amongst these women though were fellow sufferers who had eventually realized the blessings of their pain. My problem was not thinking of one situation, but choosing which one to discuss. Not that I’ve led a particularly difficult life – quite the opposite – but pain and disappointments don’t spare anyone. Mine may pale in comparison to most, but they are the ones I’ve been given. I used to have the misguided idea that the enormity of other people’s suffering somehow diminished my own – until I read the following.

Tragedy and suffering will come to you…..When they come, they will overwhelm you and immobilize you. You will feel for a time like you can’t go on. If you are one kind of person, you will feel like no other human being has ever known the suffering you are going through. If you are another kind, you will feel that your suffering is so small and insignificant compared to the greater sufferings of others that you are being self-indulgent by feeling your own pain.

Don’t be duped by either extreme. A person burned by a match does not feel pain any less because someone else was burned in a fire. Your pain and suffering are real because they are yours. You must embrace them and realize that they, too, are a gift of life because they take you out of yourself and, for a moment, make you one with all others who have known loss or pain or suffering.*

I think most of us land somewhere in the middle of the extremes described. My difficulties have ranged from trivial to life threatening. Oddly enough, in many ways, the less significant ones were often more painful – maybe because many of them were consequences of my own poor choices or maybe because I am what my family describes as “over sensitive,” which I can’t deny. It’s the little things that usually throw me. Perhaps because the big things I just hand over to God but I hesitate to bother Him with the smaller ones, as if there is a finite number of lifelines I can use so I need to save them up for emergencies. More than any other blessing I’ve ever received, adversity strengthened that lifeline and securely fastened me to God’s sovereignty and grace in any circumstance.

So, back to the original question and my thought process as to which hardship brought me the most blessings. Hmmm, they all brought something I needed; that’s a fact, though I would have been hard pressed to admit it at the time. The obvious one, which I’ve talked about ad nauseam, is my cancer diagnosis. By worldly standards, no one would consider that a blessing, but it has changed my life in ways that wouldn’t have been possible without that pain. I've been told that process is called The Gift of Tears. Only in God’s currency can pain be considered an asset.

The Gift of Tears is not something most people recognize in the midst of suffering. Sometimes it takes years or even a lifetime to see or appreciate the role it played in your life. I can think of numerous situations that felt devastating at the time, but in hindsight were blessings in disguise. My divorce is a perfect example. It might have been one of the most painful experiences of my life, yet I would never have met my current husband, had my two children or become the woman I am today had it not happened. The failure of that marriage changed the trajectory of my life for the better. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve been rejected by a school, an employer, a friend or a spouse – it’s all consuming at the moment, but humans are remarkably resilient with an incredible instinct for survival. During the difficult year following my divorce I heard a sermon and took note of this line: “When we face what we consider our very worst, that is the beginning of our very best.” I couldn’t agree more.

I’m sure you can all think of situations where your pain seemed insurmountable but eventually led you to people, places or levels of faith you never imagined. If this sounds familiar, then be comforted in the knowledge that you have passed through The Gift of Tears, a journey no one makes without being changed forever. There’s no going back…

Our lives are unalterably changed, and we will never again be the persons we were before. We have been carried into a larger realm where we see what truly is important, and it is our responsibility to carry that knowledge back into our daily lives. It is our chance to think life afresh. How we respond to tragedy and suffering is the measure of our strength…. experience them for what they are, but use them for what they can be.*

There is a spiritual truth that maintains we never grow or mature in our spiritual life until we have passed through The Gift of Tears. That’s what I’d been taught but didn’t truly understand until I experienced it myself. It was only when I had nothing to lean on but my faith that I realized its sustaining power and depth. The Gift of Tears has blessed me with the irrefutable knowledge that I never need to choose to face any situation (big or small) alone and to fully grasp that God is enough regardless of my circumstances. Finally, it allows me to choose an attitude of gratitude toward ALL the ways He works in my life not just on Thanksgiving but everyday.

With all that said, there are instances in life that are just tragic and seemingly senseless. We witness them every day. They defy explanation and comprehension. Trying to find a reason for them is just as senseless. To quote a popular colloquialism, “S#&t Happens.” Sadly, it’s part of life. We live in a broken world where bad things happen all the time: crime, disease, natural disasters. I will leave it to the pundits to address those kinds of situations – way above my pay grade. Personally, those are exactly the times when my faith in God's providence becomes the lifeline I choose to cling to that allows my soul to be comforted by trusting that God is enough - which allows me to be peaceful amidst chaos.

I dedicate this blog post to Erin – the first responder at our luncheon – for choosing to remind us that sometimes our greatest blessings come wrapped in pain.

Laura Story has an excellent reminder as well: 

  *Letters to My Son, Kent Nerburn, pg. 75.